Monday, 26 May 2014
Case in point. In April two of our male neighbors were instructed to have their overgrown gardens cut back and the landlord ran an inspection of the expected work in early May. Of course it wasn't done. At all. Nada. So the landlords told them again. One guy ran all the pat assurances that he'd get it done in the necessary time ( don't even bother with the other guy, he's just being a total creep and the landlord is dealing with that ). We've waited since to see even a glimpse of intent to do anything about these assurances ( we even intended to help the guy do the work ) but...nothing. More nada. With the deadline up and work due to start on our garden next day, me and Housemate had to spend two hard hours cutting back years worth of bush and tree overgrowth ourselves. At the end there was a huge pile of garden waste which we simply dropped on the property of its rightful owner. After all, he should have been doing the job, not us. Why should we have to get rid of his foliage?
Only this guy doesn't think so and he comes pouting at us that he's going to chuck it all back into our garden and we can get rid of it because we cut it. Well, as we pointed out, we cut it because he wasn't doing it even after being told to do so twice.
"I was going to do it!" Followed by a blank look when asked when exactly that might have been since the deadline was up? Seriously, do males learn to stick out their lower lips and sulkily utter this statement in childhood when Mother asks them repeatedly to tidy their rooms and why do mothers a. believe this shit? and b. not nip it in the bud if they don't believe it? It sure isn't the same for girls. Not in my experience and I'm sure not in the experience of other girls who also had mothers would not accept anything less than definitive answers to questions which began "When are you going to...?"
It crosses my mind that this guy really never intended to do anything except wait it out and force us to do exactly what we did, thus letting himself off scot-free and with the smug self-assurance that he won. It further crosses my mind that had the situation been reversed and the neglect been on our part, I'm pretty sure this guy wouldn't have hesitated to do exactly what we did and if we'd chucked it all back into his garden there'd have been one hell of a row about it.
And what self-respecting male then goes into a diva-ish huff because two women of hardly imposing physicality HAVE UNDERTAKEN A TOUGH OUTDOOR PHYSICAL JOB THAT HE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING WELL DONE HIMSELF? PLEASE, YOU SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT THAT WOMEN DID WHAT YOU KEPT PUTTING OFF DOING! Not sticking out your lip and crying at the perceived injustice of having to clean up a mess that belongs to you anyway. I daresay there are those who'd be of the opinion that we should have just kept waiting, even if it meant holding up work on our garden ( at our expense ), and spent perhaps weeks or months going through proper channels whilst our neighbor continued to be always "getting around to it" but we ain't anyone's mommies and we're not prepared to wait around until the end of time listening to some guy emptily flap his lips.
I've had the misfortune in my life before to have had this kind of guy as a neighbor. The kind of guy who always wanted to be an alpha male but who was never, never going to be that, and who has harbored a resentment his whole life for it, becoming instead the kind of petty martinet who lords it over anyone he thinks is smaller, weaker, or less powerful than he is. And because he is the kind of nasty little bully who makes sure to only bully people who won't or can't fight back, often using well-honed passive-aggressive tactics in his bullying, he gets his way, sometimes for a long time. Until one day he doesn't. Until one day he picks on the wrong target and it turns out that person can and will fight back. That's when the pouty little boy comes out and goes crying back to Mommy.
Sure, anyone can be a jackass regardless of their gender but it does seem that this kind of bully is more often to be found among the male of the species than the female, even though it tends to be women who are blamed in the situations created by these men for being 'fussy' and 'nagging', which makes the outrage of the feminists even more understandable. Even if I do wonder if the ire of the feminists - and those of us who simply don't want to put up with the shit - shouldn't be directed at least in part at the women who are the mothers, sisters, girlfriends, and wives of these men and who condone their behavior by letting them away with it.